Updated: Nov 22, 2018
"Even after all this time the Sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a life like that. It lights the whole sky."
My absolute favourite quote to date. It makes me emotional every time I read it out loud. Every. Single. Time. It pulls at my heart without fail and makes me appreciate the incredible amount of support I have been given in this life. Somehow it makes me feel guilt -- but then -- instant relief. It tells me that it's okay not to be okay. And it shows me the power of unconditional love. I am so deeply obsessed with this quote, yet I find myself constantly unraveling new meanings each time I read it.
When I first planned on sharing this quote with you, I had other plans on what I was going to say. I was going to talk about its relevancy to relationships and, more specifically, its relevancy to relationships with our life partners. I wanted to decipher what it might look like to some of you who are planning a large, elaborate wedding event versus a small, intimate gathering. How wedding plans can affect your guests and the expectations of your guests, family and wedding party. At what point does your wedding day become less about you and more about your guests? What do they owe you, or what do you owe them? This quote speaks to me about what we owe to each other in life, and how love can make us forget about who owes who what. I am going to shift gears a little, as something significant has occurred in the last couple of days and I feel I need this outlet. This just goes to show that this quote has so many different levels and it can really mean anything you need it to, in any given situation.
On the morning of Friday November 9, 2018 our 8 month old puppy, Maizie, was hit by a truck in front of our home and we have been faced with this devastating tragedy since. She is such a sweet little girl, with so much love to give and so much life to live. My husband and I, along with our close friends and family, are fighting as hard as we can for her to come back to us all fixed up and in one piece. She has endured multiple fractures to her pelvis and two front legs. Thankfully, she does not have any internal bleeding, her lungs have not collapsed, and there is no major trauma to her head. "We can fix broken bones," says Maizie's surgeon.
After Maizie's accident, I couldn't breathe. My dogs are my babies, and it broke my heart knowing one of my babies may possibly be pulled from this world before even having a chance at a full life. We talked with our vet about our options and went back and forth, back and forth, trying to make the right decision moving forward. Will she survive this? Can she survive this? She's too little. She hasn't even seen snow yet. I just want to be with her. I just want to say goodbye. I said these words over and over again in my head and out loud as I rocked back and forth in my husbands arms. I was in shock, hurt, and terribly confused. I could not summon the strength to think or move, let alone decide anything.
I am not one to ask for favours or handouts. In fact, I will avoid asking for help whenever possible and I strongly believe in independent responsibility. I don't like the feeling of having to "owe" somebody something and I have a very hard time accepting help from others. It's a very stressful burden, to feel as though you owe someone your life every time they do something nice for you. Then again, it makes me feel good to know I can deal with most situations on my own. It is both a weakness and a strength, and I am continuously learning when it is important that I support myself and when it is okay to ask for help. When I met my husband it took a while before I was able to fully let him in; before I could view us as a team. He is my biggest supporter now, and the life we share together has shown me that it is okay to let others in as well.
Fast forward to Maizie's accident, I found myself pouring my heart out on social media. I dropped my shields and asked all of you for a favour when I told you keep Maizie in your thoughts and to please send positive vibes and warm wishes. Since then, we have experienced an overwhelming amount of support given from people all over. People who are near and dear, people who want nothing more than to see Maizie stay strong and pull through -- even people whom we have never met before are contacting us. Your kind messages have given us strength and reassurance in knowing that we are doing everything we can to give her a second chance at a beautiful life. Maizie is a natural fighter, but I never knew of my ability to fight in times like this until I was showered with love and support from all of you.
Hafiz' words have shown me strength in being vulnerable. He reveals the inevitable power of one simple concept: Love. I want to thank each and every one of you for the unconditional love you have shown us in this time of need. Your positivity alone has helped us beyond words, and I can't imagine what it would have been like to go through this without your support and encouragement. Maizie's fight is not over -- she still has months and months of rehab and therapy to endure. She will require constant supervision and will need us to help her walk, go outside to relieve herself, and eat. It will be a long time before she is walking on her own and she has many, many months of therapy ahead of her. With your ongoing support and help we know we can give her the life she deserves. We hope she can eventually make it back to the happy, bouncy puppy she once was.